15 Day Adventure in the Wilderness

     Life has been a series of adventures that God has taken me on and this is no exception. I tend to embrace the challenges that God throws at me and gave me the reputation, in my family, of diving into the water not really worrying about how it feels until I’m already in. So, I was pretty excited to be going on wilderness and gaining another “adventure experience” to add to the already colorful life story of Larissa Dickson.  As I was on the trip I realized that wilderness is more than just an “adventure experience;” it’s a time that God used in my life for opening my eyes up to my own struggles as well as helping me to see the bigger picture. His picture.

    One of those eye opening experiences happened on the 4^th day of the hike. I was leader for the day along with Madison one of the students. I had gotten up that morning thinking “I am going to do leadership well today” and feeling very confident in my abilities to lead and lead well. Unfortunately my mindset was very prideful that morning and God needed me to take a slice of humble pie.

      I had started boiling water for the morning. One of the pots was pretty hot, but not quite boiling, when it decided to fall and spill water right on top of my, then tennis shoe covered, foot. I quickly took off my uncomfortable footwear and, at Caryn’s direction, got a piggy back ride on Megan’s back from our campsite to the lake where I proceeded to soak it.

    As I was soaking my foot the first thing that I thought is “how am I going to lead now?” the second thought was “I, what is this I? Without God how would I even be here?” As I was thinking this I looked up and saw the sun sparkling off of the beautiful grey-fading-into-tan mountains and a fish jumping out of the cool blue water with huge evergreen trees all around. I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful place to be in that moment. God took the time to meet me there and show me, gently, that I could not do this on my own, and I didn’t have to.

   People from my team came around me and showed me how valued I was as a person and instead of feeling guilty for others “taking my job” as I often have felt in the past I felt freedom in leading differently than I had originally envisioned. I led through direction that morning which meant that I needed to practice communicating what needed to be done. This is not necessarily a strong point and it's something that I need to work on. This was a goal that I had written in my journal the night before.

     Sour Patch Kid and Conradical made breakfast while I soaked my foot and put on my hiking boots. Madison communicated to the team where we would be hiking that day and how we had decided to organize the morning.  It was cool to see her step up and be a leader with me and see her vision for the team come alive. Co-leaders are awesome! I could not have chosen a better person to co-lead with me that day than her.



     After we broke camp we started hiking one direction in search of a trail that we had been on the day before. Being new at this map/compass thing we made several stops to re-orient and make sure we were going the right direction. We reached a tricky part and were deciding on whether we should go back to a different trail that Madison had seen earlier or keep going when Caryn asked us if there was a different way of getting to Glacier Lake than what we had already thought of. It was then that Madison realized that if we headed towards the highest peak of the Black Buttes we would be able to find the lake more easily than any of our other proposed plans. We set our compasses and took off. Well, I took off. I realized that I, even with a heavy backpack on, walk a little on the fast side.

     We reached Glacier Lake and were greeted by Suzanne and Jonathan, people that only Madison and I knew we would be meeting up with that day. It was cool to see the group’s excitement and love as they surrounded these two familiar faces.



     After the momentous meeting, figuring out camp logistics, and roughly setting up camp we gathered back to get a surprise objective for the day. We were told that we would be hiking the Black Buttes. This was probably the most unexpectedly hard things of this trip for me. I definitely did not expect myself to find heights this frightening and stressful. I have gone on roller-coasters, done rock climbing, been on zip-lines, been 20 feet up suspended on a rope in the redwoods, and did ropes-course. This was none of those. This was climbing up rock with no rope or safety net to catch you if you fell. I was basically trusting that the rock was going to hold me and if it didn’t I was going to fall and at worst get really badly injured for doing this and at best die and meet my maker.  So, I found out that ropes are my security blanket when doing these types of things.

    I made it to the top thanks to prayer (lots of prayer) and the encouragement of my teammates. After we got to the top and felt like we were on top of the world for a bit we had to get back down which is just as hard as going up but at least the goal is to get back onto flat ground and not feel like you have to be a mountain goat for the rest of your life. (Definitely not my thing). 



     At the end of this long and learning filled day we got to watch the sunset and breathe. As we were sitting next to the mountain I got to meditate on Colossians 1:11-12 which ended up being my wilderness verses.  (May you be strengthened with all power according to His glorious might with all patience and endurance with joy, giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance with the saints in light.) These verses reminded me that it was not my own strength that got me up a physical mountain and it’s not my own strength that gets me up the emotional and spiritual mountains. It is God’s strength that He has poured out onto me and that I can be thankful and joyful for the work that has been and is being done in and through me. 



     An allegory that has stuck with me from the trip came from rock–climbing day. My goal for the day was to be an encouragement for my teammates. This was harder to do than I expected because there were those who just did not respond or respond positively to the encouragement that I had to give. Later I found out that it really meant a lot for me to be there saying what I said.

     Encouragement is like a seed that is planted in the ground. We can’t expect the seed to grow right away but the seed is there and as the person thinks about what was said it sinks deeper and grows until you see a plant start to form. That plant will continue to grow and get stronger in that person’s life as long as they continue to process the encouragement that was given. It’s not a perfect allegory and in some areas of our lives the seeds of encouragement sprout up right away, but I believe that God uses the harder moments, the times when our soil is harder, to speak more clearly to us and to grow us more in the long run.

The Broken and the Slightly More Broken

     At The Ranch I'm amazed again and again how God chooses to use the broken lives of the Interns to pour into the even more broken and hurting lives of the students. Here there is no secret formula. It's just taking people who are more firmly rooted in Jesus and asking them to come alongside these troubled youth and pour what you can into them by doing life alongside them.

     There is a structure that we are (as interns) expected to uphold. See my post The Daily Battle to get an idea of what a day at the Ranch might look like. There are also rules that we are expected to enforce just like any healthy household would have rules, wether spoken or not, of things that you definitely cannot do.
     Some days I feel like I've been the worst example as an intern and could be the weak link in the team that the students will use to thier advantage. Perhaps there is some truth to this (like when I allow students to do things that maybe I shouldn't have) but it is not completely true. It is a lie that Satan wants me to believe because he knows that what I am doing is against him and he will use any means that he can to bring me down.
    Other days I know that I am who I am and I will make mistakes, but there is always grace. The students need to see that. They also need to see that I am willing to work on myself and that "being transformed by the renewing of your mind" doesn't happen overnight. It is a constant work being done within me and the other interns around me.

     As an intern I have seen God's grace so many times that it's hard for me not to give grace to others. Something that I think I need to work on is being more intentional about talking to the students about what they could work on but in a loving way and not in a condemning way. To come alongside them and root for them rather than tearing them down. Many of them have gotten enough of that in thier lives as it is.
     I will probably be working on this for the rest of my life and will make plenty of mistakes because I'm a broken person ministering to broken people. Through Christ I am qualified to be exactly who I need to be in this broken world.

Learning Curves

    I am learning how to deal with conflict as I'm here. It's a good thing to learn. I'm realizing just how little conflict I had to deal with growing up and coming into this ministry and having to deal with it 24/7 is definitely a learning curve. God has been so gracious to me  in giving me people who have dealt with this stuff for years.

    I think one of the cool aspects about the ranch is that all of the staff here are here to help the interns. They help you through the conflict that goes on and either affirm you in the choices that you take or help you to figure out what the next steps should be. They are also here for the interns spiritually too. They are constantly working to build us up as individuals and drive us towards Christ. I think that this is so cool and such a beautiful picture of the 1 Peter passage in the Bible:

     So as I'm on this journey I not only have the other interns who are struggling alongside me (and who have lots of wisdom from thier own life experience) but those who have gone before me and can speak wisdom into my life. The students who come here come from some pretty intense backgrounds.
     I'm here to tend the lives that God brings here. They come here with a lot of baggage but as we work through that God is gracious to allow us to see change in the students. It gives me hope that what is happening here is not in vain and spurs me on to keep entering into the conflict even when I would rather not.
     Here is a video that one of the current interns created. It gives you a little bit of a sneak peek into the kind of students that come here.

The Daily Battle

This is a "typical" day at the Ranch. No day is the same and every day has new challenges to face but I shall try to show you to the best of my ability what a day for an intern might look like.

Here is me being dorky on a not so typical ranch day. 

     I get up between 6 and 6:30 every morning so I can have some quiet time for myself and Jesus. I find that I need this time and look forward to it every morning. My goal is to get down to the lodge around 7 for breakfast which starts at 7:15. (I don't always make the goal but it helps to have one.)
     At 7:45 we start a devotional time which changes depending on the day of the week. Sometimes it's a group devotional time and other times it's an individual devotional time. These usually wrap up around 8:30 ish and we start work program at 8:40.
      Work program consists of chores that need to be done inside as well as odd jobs and chores that need to be done outside. (Think of things like sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, doing dishes, etc. for inside and think of things like washing cars, raking leaves, mowing grass, pulling weeds, and general grounds maintainence for outside.)
    As an intern I might be put on outdoor work program in the morning have a 15 minute break for snack at 10:25 then continue with outdoor until lunch (12:30). After lunch (1:10) I might be put on indoor until 5pm at which point the students and interns are dismissed to thier dorms for 1 hour.
    We come back to the lodge for dinner (which is prepared by an intern). This ends around 6:45. We have a designated group of people put in charge of making sure dinner gets cleaned up and dishes are done.
     Most people get to hang out and chill until 9:30 and then everyone gets sent to thier dorms. Sometimes we have special activities planned where people are expected to participate. Other nights we have what is referred to as "study hall" where those who are in school are taken to the school so that studying for tests and getting homework done might be accomplished in the hour of time given to them. If they feel they need to work for longer they are allowed to bring thier homework to the lodge and continue studying.
     Once we are in our dorms we get ready for bed and have some dorm bonding time where we as females can talk about our day and keep eachother updated on what's going on in our lives. (I have no idea what the guys do so I can't vouch for them.) My particular dorm has a prayer time where we pray for eachother. We have been then just doing our own personal thing but hopefully soon I can make it more of a group thing and go through a book that I started reading here called "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge.
   
     So that is a sneak peek into what a Ranch day might look like for an intern here. It seems easy on the surface until you are in the mix. Some days, on work program, it's a battle field trying to get the students to cooperate. Other days it's a battle to find stuff for students to do.
     As I've been here I'm learning what it means to rest in Jesus and having to relearn it over and over again. I'm thankful that God doesn't see me as having a big "F" on my life like those papers that you could get in middle school. I'm glad that God sees me as his child and gives me the grace to mess up over and over again. He may gently remind me that I'm relying on my own strength in the moment but it's always in a way that is full of grace.
     In a way this is another battle field. The battle to keep your focus on Christ and not get lost in the humdrum everyday life. I think at some level all Christians struggle with this and it's ok to give yourself grace and get back up and try again.

I have a good example of what I've been going through from the other day.

     I was working in the kitchen and one of the students was helping me to prep for dinner. He noticed that I seemed to be frustrated and tense and easily annoyed with people. (We'll call him Sour Patch Kid, SPKid for short). SPKid was talking to me and said, "Larissa, I know you are going through a hard time right now." He was such a sweetie about it. He said some more stuff to try to encourage me and then he said, "Trust God, he's going to make sure that it all turns out ok."
    This is coming from a STUDENT folks. Not another intern. Not one of the staff who work here. A student. To have God use SPKid to speak into my life at that moment was both humbling and encouraging at the same time. It meant that at least some of the teaching was getting through to him and that God could use anyone to remind me of who really was in charge.

That's all I have for today. TTFN 😉





   

Tea, a Little Poetry, and Some Thoughts From Me

This week I got to go out with my disciplee,
We had a lovely cup of loose leaf tea,
A warm gooey croissant with ham and cheese,
Just the thing for our stomach's hunger to appease.

Talking about Christ and what God has done,
Talking of life and laughter and fun,
Our friendship has started to blossom and grow,
Eyeing eachother over teacups with faces aglow.

Our time marches on and is over too fast,
Getting that fro yo was quite a blast,
Our hats were almost blown off once or twice,
But it made us feel pretty and made the day nice.

We talked of our lives on the drive back to the Ranch,
And shared of Gods preservation of our piece in His branch,
He watches over us even when we are going astray,
And when we get lost He leads us home His way.

This is such an enjoyable relationship to have and I feel so blessed to have the particular diciplee that I do. God is using her in my life to remind me of his constant sunshine that can't help but filter through. His light is there and is always shining and overcoming the darkness and so I have hope that even though there are many students here who have much darkness that the light is greater and that they will not leave here quite as dark as when they came.

It's one of the aspects of living here that I have been able to feel the contrast of the light and the darkness, which may seem weird but it's true. It's not that I've never felt darkness before but I have not felt it as strongly in the day to day. This place really is a battle ground where we are pushing back the darkness in the lives of these young people.

I think in many ministries people experience this but I think it's especially true for 24/7 ministries where you have to live with the people that you are mentoring.

The sunshine is too bright for people not to be affected by it here. It has been quite the adventure that God has brought me to and I am not sorry that He brought me here.

Coming to a Hard Blessing

     A day here at the ranch is always new. There are new challenges, new adventures, and new things to learn every day. I have really enjoyed being a part of this ministry.

    The way I heard about this place in the first place was because of a couple of families from my church. They came to an event up here and heard that CEM was looking for interns. On the same Sunday 3 different people from the 2 families came up to me saying that I should apply to be an intern. I think God was definitely involved in speaking to me that day through those people.
    So here I am working among at risk youth and pouring what God has given me into them as He moves. It really is an awesome experience.

    I have laughed with them and let them cry into my shoulder, and have let go of my own tears. It is hard but good. It's good to see the growth in the students and see how my first view of them has changed. It's also hard to see how even though they are growing in some areas they seem to be behind in other areas.
   I have heard more of thier stories and have shared more of mine. I'm learning that everything I have gone through in the past was not necessarily going to have to wait till I was in my 30s or when I "grew up" so to speak (by the way, does anyone truely reach the state of being fully "grown up"?). God is using my story right now and not just in the form of a book but in person.
   I was told by a very wise friend that it's important to share your testimony with others because you never know when or how God is going to use that in someone else's life. Recently it has become clear that God not only may use that testimony in someone else's life but also in mine. It has helped me to see how far I have come. It has helped to reinforce the fact that God has continued to work on me even if I can't always see it right away.
     Every day is new. It is challenging and beautiful because God has made it for us to learn to lean on Him more. That is a blessing beyond measure.

Winter Adventure Ranch Style

     On Feb. 13-16th I went on a winter backpacking trip in Tahoe National Park. It was really cool (haha) to be able to spend the weekend with just the girls (13 of us all together) and to be able to enjoy God's creation with them.
     We went without the comforts of home meaning we had to leave behind toothpaste, deodorant, soap, shampoo, toilet paper, and be without them for the duration of the hike. We took only what we absolutely needed. This included clothes, some cooking and eating supplies, food, tents and bedding (a sleeping bag and a mat to keep you off of the snow), a flashlight, and a backpack to carry it all in.
     It was a time of really good focused meditation on God while walking in the midst of His creation which was refreshing and awesome.

Every day we had group devotionals which was led by one of the staff members who came along. One day we were asked to look up verses and then discuss them with the group. Then we were asked to write a word that we felt who we are in Christ. At first I wrote the word Chosen but that didn't seem like it fit. I went through the day thinking about the word and wondering what my word was if it wasn't Chosen. As I laid down that night the word Qualified came to me and I knew that that was the word that God wanted me to have.

Christ has Qualified me to do whatever He has put in my path to do.

     The last day we had a Devotional that suck out to most (if not all of the girls) there. This time the speaker took out two $20 bills. One she asked a person sitting near her to hold and keep nice. The other she took and tore in a couple of places, spit on it, crinkled it up, and threw it on the dirt.
     She then asked which one was worth more? To which we answered they are both the same. Then she asked why? We said it was because that is what the government said they were worth.
     This was to illustrate that we are seen as being worth the same, no matter what we have been through, in God's eyes. We may have been mistreated and abused but God looks past that and uses us anyway.
    On the way back I was reminded of this once again. I just happened to get in the quiet van and so I started thinking about all of the negative things I had thought of myself over the weekend and one of the students turns to me and says, "You look like a porcelain doll." I then start crying because I realize that just because I have these negative thoughts doesn't mean that that is how God thinks of me. To Him I am worth it. I am beautiful. I am qualified.
Thanks for reading!

Down the Rabbit Hole We Go

     This last weekend (sorry this is a little late guys) I was able to witness a big change at Christian Encounter Ministries as the old Executive Director retires from this ministry to move on with what the Lord has for him in this next phase of his life. It was cool to see a smattering of the many lives that were affected by this very special, very God-honoring man. In one sense I'm glad that I got to be a part (small though it was) of the celebration of Mike Petrillo. In another sense I'm sorry that I didn't know him better than I did before the ceremony.
     God has so much that He can accomplish through one life but its not always through very extraordinary circumstances. Its just using ordinary people through ordinary everyday circumstances that God chooses to use people to advance His kingdom. That was my big takeaway from the event.
     So what's next? I don't know. God does. For some reason the Ranch needs this time of searching for a new Executive Director to take the place of Mike P. Its kind of fun and exciting to be coming into a ministry where such a big change is happening. Its also kind of scary because now the whole ministry is free falling (or so it seems) and nobody is sure what God is going to do next.
    We do have a great interim director in Mark Andrews but he hopes that it will only be at the most 1 year's worth of him holding the position.
     It is all a grand adventure! Its exciting to wait and see what God will do at this time.
     I feel like Alice, in a way. I followed God's prompting and now I'm going on an adventure in a land where I can stand in awe and wonder at what God is doing and will do. I went down a rabbit hole and I'm off to live an adventure that I will not soon forget. I'm sure I shall see strange things and wonderful things. (In some ways I already have). Through it all though I hope that this will grow me closer to God than ever and that I will keep that closeness no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing.

First Week On!

I officially started my regular schedule this week.

I feel at home here. It's probably one of the best places I can be at this point in my life.
It's a chance for me to grow in my own faith outside of my own family and figure out how to reach out to people who are hurt and broken in a different enviornment than what I'm used to.

This week I've been going through Matthew 6:25-34 with one of the students. It has been such a good passage for me to go through. Its reminded me that I serve a God who cares about the details and who doesn't want me to be anxious about the little things.
It's too easy to be anxious and want to be "in control" of the situation. Which, if I really think about it, is where I am when I am anxious. If I truly was trusting in God I wouldn't be anxious.
It's a good reminder.

The students all are struggling with different things. Sometimes I wonder if I'm responding correctly to a situation. Reading through the Matthew passage has really helped to remind me to lean on God more and take my need for wisdom to Him on a daily basis. 

Orientation week

My first couple of days:

I was pretty much just trying to get my bearings and trying to soak up where I was, what exactly I am supposed to be, and what am I doing? Is this crazy?
   It has gotten better though. The fog is beginning to clear and I'm just beginning to see kind of how things work around here at The Ranch (which is what everyone around here calls Christian Encounter Ministries). (I have more info on my blog post Crazy Stuff Happening All At Once!)
     The staff and interns are all very welcoming and I feel like I've transferred from one family to another. There is a lot of people here who are more than happy to help you whether it's with something emotional going on or just a practical day to day question. This is just the place where I need to be right now. I don't know how God is going to use it in the future but I do know that He will and I'm content to be along for the adventure that He is taking me on.

Good-byes and New Beginnings

I hate goodbyes. Especially ones with family or people who feel like family. I melt into puddles of tears when the time comes.

It doesn't matter how excited I am for leaving I know that I will have to leave those people behind. And that's tough.
    A wise friend of mine said something really encouraging. She said that while we are here we have to endure separation, pain, and loneliness but when we go to meet Jesus all of this will be done away with. It is painful now but it will not last for those of us who are Christ's.
     It brought back to mind why I'm here. I'm here to be a witness for Christ for His glory so that others might know Him. Then they will get to enjoy life without those awful things and enjoy God for Himself.
    So I'm here at Christian Encounter Ministries. It's a new and exciting chapter of my life. Every new chapter comes with its challenges but they also come with thier benefits.
    I'm excited to be here and to be getting to know people and getting to know how this all works.
It's time for a new beginning!

Great Question IV

Why do people fight about religion?

I started Good News Club last week and this is the question I got from one of the kids. Me and another teacher ended up talking to him about it.

    I told him that God created us for worship and so people who either don't know the truth or reject the truth will seek other ways of worship. That is why there are so many religions in the world.
    Brenda then pointed out that everyone claims that they are right but can everyone be right? No. She then pointed out that man is sinful and God is not and so God will not lie and has the right to tell us the truth.
    The reason that so many people fight about religion is because they want to be right. They don't want to admit that they are wrong. Only God is 100% right because He is truth.

Loving the Little Rascal

      So I have been working with Cubbies at a church that is about 5 minutes away. We have about 40 kids coming and among these kids is one particular kid named James. Now James is a big problem child at Cubbies since he gets up during story time and runs around the room in a way that is both distracting and dangerous to both himself and others. It usually takes a couple of us to corral him and then for one of us to catch him and hold him during story time. 

      Anyway this kid really has made it clear that he does not want to be at Cubbies and he just wants to go home. I feel for him.

     I got told once to not feel bad for him when he was not listening. I can't help feeling badly for kids who are misbehaving. Especially ones who people do not seem to be showing love to or trying to understand what's going on at home. What does or does not go on at home will affect how they act in public.

     I want this kid to know what it is to love Jesus and what Jesus' love looks like but it's so hard when they don't seem to want it or care. (Maybe this is a little picture of how we look to God a lot of times.)

     How do we reach a child who does not want to be reached? You can't and forcing him to sit and listen might be helping him to close his ears more and more to what God says in His word. It's doing more harm than good. 

     On the other hand it isn't my choice that this kid has to be there at Cubbies. It's his parents choice to enroll him. So I have been wracking my brain as to how to get this kid more engaged. I think he's just a really active kid and so he needs to move around so making him sit isn't helping him to learn. I try to give him things to play with during the story time and ask him questions to try and get him to listen. He behaves a little better since he's getting individual attention but its not like we have a real choice in that since he has to be strapped to you during the story time. At least it's something. 

Great Question III

Why did God create man if he knew that man was just going to mess things up?

I got this question from one of my Good News Club kids last year. It's a tough one to answer and I don't think that there is just one reason either.

Here is what I believe:
God created man for at least three reasons (originally)

1. To show a reflection of Himself in His creation (notice I said reflection not copy. I believe there is a difference) (Gen. 1:26a)
2. To create a being that was able to have a relationship with Him that was unlike that of the other creatures of creation.
3. Originally to have dominion over the other creatures in creation and to subdue the earth (Gen. 1:26,27). Interestingly, though, it is not repeated to Noah in Genesis 9 (though, the "Be fruitful and multiply" command is).

     I believe that God could have stopped what happened in the garden but didn't. In essence He allowed man to disobey His command to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil (Gen. 2:17, 3:1-7)
      I believe that God allowed things to happen this way so that we might know more fully how deep His love is by showing just how far He was willing to go.
     Think about it. If we had never sinned, then Christ would not have had to die. If Christ didn't die we would know that God loved us but we wouldn't be able to even try to comprehend how deep that love is for us. Now at least we can begin to grasp the desperate, painful, deep, powerful, passionate nature of His love!

Great Question II

           Here is another question from one of my Good News Club kids that I got:

If you are acting in a play or a TV show and your character has to lie is that sinning?

     Here is how I answered her (I started out giving the answers in written form):

     If you are acting in a play or a TV show it is not necessarily wrong to lie. You are being a character in a show and everyone knows that in real life you are not that person. The only time it would be wrong for someone to lie in this instance is if a Christian was playing the part and in the story lying was portrayed as being something good and something that people should be ok with doing. If lying is shown in the story as having consequences then it would be fine for anyone to play the part.
     People do movies, plays, and even TV shows which do stories from the Bible. When people tell the story of Jesus is it wrong for them to play a Pharisee? In order to do justice to the story you have to show people who the Pharisees were and how they are described in the Bible. They hated Jesus so much that they wanted him dead. If God doesn't shield us from these things in His word then there is no reason to not include the Pharisees when telling the story of Jesus.
     There are other stories in the Bible like the story of Jacob and Esau (Gen. 25:28-34, 27:1-43), where Jacob lies and it wouldn't be right to do a play or a movie without having him lie.  The story of Joseph (Gen. 37) where his brothers lie to their father in order to cover up what they did. If you left out lying in these stories you wouldn't be true to the story and it would take away some of the impact that these stories have. There are lots more but these are just a couple of stories that I could come up with as examples.

Great Question

     Why doesn't God show Himself to us? Was a question I got from one of my Good News Club kids. Kids ask such simple but such profound questions sometimes. This particular kid has a mom who is Buddhist and decided to accept Jesus last year at Good News Club.
     So then why doesn't God show Himself to us? Well, if he did we would all die immediately from the presence of pure holiness, righteousness, justice, and Godness. So incineration, kaput, kapooie! We as sinners would not survive that kind of revelation of God to His creation.
      Kid: What about Jesus?
      Me: Well, Christ kept at bay that part of himself that was able to destroy all of human kind. He kept the fullness of his glory and power in check so that we would not be destroyed by His presence. Why? Because he can.
     If He hadn't done that there would have been no drinking of God's wrath and no promised Savior. So in a sense he did this because he had to in order to pay the price for our salvation. (This is close but probably not word for word to how I answered the question at Good News Club. It was pretty hard core like that though.)
     Since answering the question above live however I have had a chance to really look at the question and think about it as Old Testament stories come up in my Church and in my devotional life. Sometimes the Bible can get really big and complicated.
     God showed Himself to many in the Old Testament including but not limited to these specific times:
 Abram -Gen. 12:7 'Then the LORD appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” So he built there an altar to the LORD, who had appeared to him.'
 Isaac -Gen. 26:2 'And the LORD appeared to him and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; dwell in the land of which I shall tell you.'
 Jacob -Gen. 28:13 in his dream and again in Gen. 35:9,10 'God appeared to Jacob again, when he came from Paddan-aram, and blessed him. 10 And God said to him, “Your name is Jacob; no longer shall your name be called Jacob, but Israel shall be your name.” So he called his name Israel.'
 Moses -Ex. 3:2 And the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed.
 Gideon -Judg. 6:12 And the angel of the LORD appeared to him and said to him, “The LORD is with you, O mighty man of valor."
 Samson's parents -Judges 13
 Samuel -1Sam. 3:21 And the LORD appeared again at Shiloh, for the LORD revealed himself to Samuel at Shiloh by the word of the LORD.
 Solomon -1Kings 3:5 At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream by night, and God said, “Ask what I shall give you.”, 1Kings 9:2 the LORD appeared to Solomon a second time, as he had appeared to him at Gibeon.
 And more times throughout the Old Testament.
God was not just interested in letting "people do their thing" and not getting involved. He made us to be in relationship with him.
     So why doesn't he appear to us today? One reason probably has to do with us having the revealed word of God in the form of the Bible today. He does not need to show Himself because He already has.
     He still is a very personal God and wants us to have a relationship with Him like Abraham or Moses did but He does not need to physically be there in order to do that. He wants us to pursue Him and be willing to give up ourselves for Him. He wants us to come as we are, whether that means you are broken and needing to run to Him right now or whether you are having a good day and just need to take a moment to remember who it was who made the day.
     It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that the God who created the cosmos and thought of every little detail down to the smallest sub-particulate piece of matter that's out there would even be interested in me. But He is. The least I could do is be interested in getting to know Him.
     Don't know if that's much of an answer. It's something. If I can come up with something better I'll be sure to post it but for now that's my answer. It's different from my original answer, not that the original one was completely wrong but I didn't take into account that God had come down and talked with different people before Christ came and lived a life among us.

Do We Judge Them Too Quickly?

     Homeschooling parents everywhere are doing are doing a good thing. It is a very good thing to homeschool, it's a better education, it can be hand tailored to the students interest and learning style, homeschoolers are generally more self motivated, there is better retention of what was learned.
     There are lots of reasons why people should homeschool but if your brother or sister in Christ cannot or will not homeschool I do not believe that it is necessarily wrong. If the situation is handled correctly it does not have to be the automatic wrong choice.
     I babysit for a lady who is honoring her husband by putting her kids in Public School. She goes and volunteers once a week at her kids school so that she can be involved in their lives and can kind of keep an eye on what is talked about in class. She discusses with her kids why they believe differently and why as Christians we need to stand for what is right. This particular mom when she comes across curriculums that she disagrees with in the school will go and complain to the teachers and/or the principal and does what she can to raise awareness among the other parents. Even though its not the best option I think this particular mom is doing the best she can in the situation that she is in.
     I help out a a Good News Club. The reason that it got started was because a little girl told her mom that she wanted to know how she could share her faith with her friends at school. Her mom looked into it and found out about this program that could be taught after school. As I have helped to teach this group it has been so cool to see kids get the gospel for the first time. This ministry is affecting lives, sometimes weekly. The Good News Club has now been in that school for 9 years. If this little girl hadn't been in that school I wonder if the Good News Club would have existed at all.
     Was it the parents best option to public school their kids in this instance? Probably not, but there were more people affected that probably wouldn't have been affected if this particular family hadn't public schooled their kids.
     I strongly believe that homeschooling is the way that I would want to educate my children but I do not believe that all Christians who put their kids in Public School are doing the wrong thing. I think as Christians we need to be careful that we don't get up on our high and mighty horses and say that all Christians who choose to Public School their kids are "doing it wrong." It's really easy to get in that mentality.

    Here are some questions that I ask myself when I meet a Christian parent who public schools:
-What is the parent involvement/interest in their child's education?
-Are they Public Schooling out of necessity?
-If not, what is the hesitation with homeschooling?

     These just help me to more fully understand the situation.
     I do not have to agree with the choice made but I do not have to let this be a separating point between me and a brother or sister in Christ.

The Joy and Pain of Volunteering

      I have been volunteering this past year for a couple of programs but the school year is almost over and so are the programs. In one sense it's a relief but in another sense I will be sad to leave (mostly sad).

     In one of the programs (Cubbies) I have had the privilege to work with preschoolers. These kids are not only cute but they are also busy, naughty, and needy. They need to know that someone cares.
     I find that I'm not that much different from these little ones in comparison to God. I just am able to hide it a lot better from those who are around me. I guess it helps in me being able to relate to them since I'm just a big kid in an adult body.
     I'm going to miss seeing a whole room full of wiggly, energetic preschoolers sitting on a carpet doing their best to listen (although we did have a few who could care less, there are some in every crowd) to the Bible lesson this week and waiting for the teacher to call on them to be up front helping her.
      I also help out at a Good News Club which is an after school program that is in one of the local public elementary schools in our area. Because its free we get kids who come who have  never heard about Jesus. It has been really cool to be a part of these kids lives and be able to answer their questions and help them understand who Jesus is. I'm going to miss this group. They have done so much to help me in my own walk in asking me questions that both encouraged and challenged me. Hopefully I can finish some of the blog posts that I'm working on based on these questions over the summer. We shall see.

     These were both opportunities that God put before me. He led the opportunities to me and then I felt called to be a part and followed that calling. It truly has been a blessing to be a part of each of these ministries.

     If you are a Christian and have some desire to get involved in something that has eternal impact think and pray about getting involved in children's ministry in some way. You might be surprised at how easy it is to get involved. If you have a plate that is already full see how you can pray for a local group somehow or if you can support a local ministry somehow. Anything helps even if its "only prayer" it's still important.

What do I do with Myself?

    As a single daughter of a pastor there are people who are genuinely thinking that I should get out there and do something with my life. Sometimes this can be discouraging when you look at everything you already do and think "but what about everything else that I'm involved in"? I'm the oldest of 12 kids, I go and help out at Cubbies once a week, I've been very involved in Child Evangelism Fellowship and currently help out with Good News Club, I have a job and babysit on top of that, what more do people expect me to do?
     There is that little thing called college. Ahh, yes. College, the seemingly defining factor of whether or not you will be a success in life or not. Now I'm not saying that college is a bad thing, no. Some people I believe have a legitimate reason to go to college and learn things and get the connections needed to do what they want to do (doctors, marine biologists, engineers, etc.). There are plenty of people who still need to have college. Do I need college though?
     I am of the opinion that not everyone needs to go to college. Some people are much better off getting life experience rather than jumping into college and spending a bunch of time and money on something that you aren't going to use. I believe that with my skill set and bent that college is not my only option (although it is one option. I like to keep an open mind about the whole college thing.)
          As a single woman I don't believe that pining away and doing nothing is good for you or anyone else. I believe that keeping busy and exploring are the best ways to get an idea of where you fit before you go out and decide to spend a whole bunch of money (and time) on something that you don't know if you even like doing or not.
     I've learned (via Pintrest) that I could learn so much through the Internet on photography that I would probably start there before I even stepped foot in a classroom about it. I think with things that are artistic and technical like that though you are better off just doing stuff on your own and figuring out what works and what doesn't and just playing around with things rather than paying for a class.  Another idea that I've toyed with is learning alongside another photographer who has been doing this stuff for a while.
     I've found that I'm able to get some pretty decent shots just using the camera on my smart phone and have been experimenting with different lighting. The photos often do end up being grainy but there are a few that turned out fine. I've learned that you can minimize the graininess of your photo (and sometimes avoid it altogether) by shooting a picture with good lighting and making sure your subject is in focus. I only know this because I have practiced and went out to find out how I could get a shot that actually looked good with something I carry all of the time. It came through my own exploration.
     I am currently going through a knitting certification course so that I can teach knitting classes. The cool thing about getting certified is that I actually need to teach classes while I'm getting certified so I actually get paid during the certification process.
     The whole reason I even found out about the knitting thing is because I was going around looking for jobs and I went into my local Michaels to find out I they needed any instructors. Come to find out they were in the market for a knitting instructor and me being a knitter who happens to be in the market for a job found a match. It was God's timing and leading and I am so thankful for His providence.
     I absolutely hands down love working with kids. God has provided ways of me being able to do that through local ministry groups like Child Evangelism Fellowship and Awana and has given me babysitting opportunities for families both in my church and just through random connections. (Although with God they're not really random.) I have been to India to work with orphanages and children's homes and  continue to look for opportunities for God to use me to minister to children.
     All this to say yes, when I look at everything that I'm involved in I might not have college as one of the ingredients of my life at this moment. That's ok. God has given me special talents and abilities and has given me the outlets for those talents and abilities.
     
For all you single ladies out there ask yourself these questions:

What is important to me?
What do I enjoy doing?
Can I get involved in ministering to people with the talents that I am aware of?
Is there something that I feel called to do that might involve stepping out of my comfort zone?
Is there something that I would like to learn/do that I should set aside time to pursue?
   
     I'm not saying that you have to answer all of them but maybe take a little time to think about them and then go and pursue those things that you feel called to do. See where God takes you in this exciting time that He has for you here on earth. He has a purpose for every splotch here on earth and it will be a beautiful thing to look back on.