Tea, a Little Poetry, and Some Thoughts From Me

This week I got to go out with my disciplee,
We had a lovely cup of loose leaf tea,
A warm gooey croissant with ham and cheese,
Just the thing for our stomach's hunger to appease.

Talking about Christ and what God has done,
Talking of life and laughter and fun,
Our friendship has started to blossom and grow,
Eyeing eachother over teacups with faces aglow.

Our time marches on and is over too fast,
Getting that fro yo was quite a blast,
Our hats were almost blown off once or twice,
But it made us feel pretty and made the day nice.

We talked of our lives on the drive back to the Ranch,
And shared of Gods preservation of our piece in His branch,
He watches over us even when we are going astray,
And when we get lost He leads us home His way.

This is such an enjoyable relationship to have and I feel so blessed to have the particular diciplee that I do. God is using her in my life to remind me of his constant sunshine that can't help but filter through. His light is there and is always shining and overcoming the darkness and so I have hope that even though there are many students here who have much darkness that the light is greater and that they will not leave here quite as dark as when they came.

It's one of the aspects of living here that I have been able to feel the contrast of the light and the darkness, which may seem weird but it's true. It's not that I've never felt darkness before but I have not felt it as strongly in the day to day. This place really is a battle ground where we are pushing back the darkness in the lives of these young people.

I think in many ministries people experience this but I think it's especially true for 24/7 ministries where you have to live with the people that you are mentoring.

The sunshine is too bright for people not to be affected by it here. It has been quite the adventure that God has brought me to and I am not sorry that He brought me here.

Coming to a Hard Blessing

     A day here at the ranch is always new. There are new challenges, new adventures, and new things to learn every day. I have really enjoyed being a part of this ministry.

    The way I heard about this place in the first place was because of a couple of families from my church. They came to an event up here and heard that CEM was looking for interns. On the same Sunday 3 different people from the 2 families came up to me saying that I should apply to be an intern. I think God was definitely involved in speaking to me that day through those people.
    So here I am working among at risk youth and pouring what God has given me into them as He moves. It really is an awesome experience.

    I have laughed with them and let them cry into my shoulder, and have let go of my own tears. It is hard but good. It's good to see the growth in the students and see how my first view of them has changed. It's also hard to see how even though they are growing in some areas they seem to be behind in other areas.
   I have heard more of thier stories and have shared more of mine. I'm learning that everything I have gone through in the past was not necessarily going to have to wait till I was in my 30s or when I "grew up" so to speak (by the way, does anyone truely reach the state of being fully "grown up"?). God is using my story right now and not just in the form of a book but in person.
   I was told by a very wise friend that it's important to share your testimony with others because you never know when or how God is going to use that in someone else's life. Recently it has become clear that God not only may use that testimony in someone else's life but also in mine. It has helped me to see how far I have come. It has helped to reinforce the fact that God has continued to work on me even if I can't always see it right away.
     Every day is new. It is challenging and beautiful because God has made it for us to learn to lean on Him more. That is a blessing beyond measure.

Winter Adventure Ranch Style

     On Feb. 13-16th I went on a winter backpacking trip in Tahoe National Park. It was really cool (haha) to be able to spend the weekend with just the girls (13 of us all together) and to be able to enjoy God's creation with them.
     We went without the comforts of home meaning we had to leave behind toothpaste, deodorant, soap, shampoo, toilet paper, and be without them for the duration of the hike. We took only what we absolutely needed. This included clothes, some cooking and eating supplies, food, tents and bedding (a sleeping bag and a mat to keep you off of the snow), a flashlight, and a backpack to carry it all in.
     It was a time of really good focused meditation on God while walking in the midst of His creation which was refreshing and awesome.

Every day we had group devotionals which was led by one of the staff members who came along. One day we were asked to look up verses and then discuss them with the group. Then we were asked to write a word that we felt who we are in Christ. At first I wrote the word Chosen but that didn't seem like it fit. I went through the day thinking about the word and wondering what my word was if it wasn't Chosen. As I laid down that night the word Qualified came to me and I knew that that was the word that God wanted me to have.

Christ has Qualified me to do whatever He has put in my path to do.

     The last day we had a Devotional that suck out to most (if not all of the girls) there. This time the speaker took out two $20 bills. One she asked a person sitting near her to hold and keep nice. The other she took and tore in a couple of places, spit on it, crinkled it up, and threw it on the dirt.
     She then asked which one was worth more? To which we answered they are both the same. Then she asked why? We said it was because that is what the government said they were worth.
     This was to illustrate that we are seen as being worth the same, no matter what we have been through, in God's eyes. We may have been mistreated and abused but God looks past that and uses us anyway.
    On the way back I was reminded of this once again. I just happened to get in the quiet van and so I started thinking about all of the negative things I had thought of myself over the weekend and one of the students turns to me and says, "You look like a porcelain doll." I then start crying because I realize that just because I have these negative thoughts doesn't mean that that is how God thinks of me. To Him I am worth it. I am beautiful. I am qualified.
Thanks for reading!

Down the Rabbit Hole We Go

     This last weekend (sorry this is a little late guys) I was able to witness a big change at Christian Encounter Ministries as the old Executive Director retires from this ministry to move on with what the Lord has for him in this next phase of his life. It was cool to see a smattering of the many lives that were affected by this very special, very God-honoring man. In one sense I'm glad that I got to be a part (small though it was) of the celebration of Mike Petrillo. In another sense I'm sorry that I didn't know him better than I did before the ceremony.
     God has so much that He can accomplish through one life but its not always through very extraordinary circumstances. Its just using ordinary people through ordinary everyday circumstances that God chooses to use people to advance His kingdom. That was my big takeaway from the event.
     So what's next? I don't know. God does. For some reason the Ranch needs this time of searching for a new Executive Director to take the place of Mike P. Its kind of fun and exciting to be coming into a ministry where such a big change is happening. Its also kind of scary because now the whole ministry is free falling (or so it seems) and nobody is sure what God is going to do next.
    We do have a great interim director in Mark Andrews but he hopes that it will only be at the most 1 year's worth of him holding the position.
     It is all a grand adventure! Its exciting to wait and see what God will do at this time.
     I feel like Alice, in a way. I followed God's prompting and now I'm going on an adventure in a land where I can stand in awe and wonder at what God is doing and will do. I went down a rabbit hole and I'm off to live an adventure that I will not soon forget. I'm sure I shall see strange things and wonderful things. (In some ways I already have). Through it all though I hope that this will grow me closer to God than ever and that I will keep that closeness no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing.

First Week On!

I officially started my regular schedule this week.

I feel at home here. It's probably one of the best places I can be at this point in my life.
It's a chance for me to grow in my own faith outside of my own family and figure out how to reach out to people who are hurt and broken in a different enviornment than what I'm used to.

This week I've been going through Matthew 6:25-34 with one of the students. It has been such a good passage for me to go through. Its reminded me that I serve a God who cares about the details and who doesn't want me to be anxious about the little things.
It's too easy to be anxious and want to be "in control" of the situation. Which, if I really think about it, is where I am when I am anxious. If I truly was trusting in God I wouldn't be anxious.
It's a good reminder.

The students all are struggling with different things. Sometimes I wonder if I'm responding correctly to a situation. Reading through the Matthew passage has really helped to remind me to lean on God more and take my need for wisdom to Him on a daily basis. 

Orientation week

My first couple of days:

I was pretty much just trying to get my bearings and trying to soak up where I was, what exactly I am supposed to be, and what am I doing? Is this crazy?
   It has gotten better though. The fog is beginning to clear and I'm just beginning to see kind of how things work around here at The Ranch (which is what everyone around here calls Christian Encounter Ministries). (I have more info on my blog post Crazy Stuff Happening All At Once!)
     The staff and interns are all very welcoming and I feel like I've transferred from one family to another. There is a lot of people here who are more than happy to help you whether it's with something emotional going on or just a practical day to day question. This is just the place where I need to be right now. I don't know how God is going to use it in the future but I do know that He will and I'm content to be along for the adventure that He is taking me on.

Good-byes and New Beginnings

I hate goodbyes. Especially ones with family or people who feel like family. I melt into puddles of tears when the time comes.

It doesn't matter how excited I am for leaving I know that I will have to leave those people behind. And that's tough.
    A wise friend of mine said something really encouraging. She said that while we are here we have to endure separation, pain, and loneliness but when we go to meet Jesus all of this will be done away with. It is painful now but it will not last for those of us who are Christ's.
     It brought back to mind why I'm here. I'm here to be a witness for Christ for His glory so that others might know Him. Then they will get to enjoy life without those awful things and enjoy God for Himself.
    So I'm here at Christian Encounter Ministries. It's a new and exciting chapter of my life. Every new chapter comes with its challenges but they also come with thier benefits.
    I'm excited to be here and to be getting to know people and getting to know how this all works.
It's time for a new beginning!