The Myth About "Just Friends"

     "Just friends" has kind of gotten a bad rap from our society which seems to constantly send the message "all or nothing" to young people out there, and many of us have bought into this way of thinking, especially when it comes to relationships. You see guys on TV shows balking at the fact that they are in the "just friends zone" and trying to "fix" things in order to get on the girl's "good" side. The fact of the matter is he probably doesn't need to fix anything and the fact that he is even in the "friend zone" is a good thing.
     Girls need to feel safe in a relationship. They need to know that you are trustworthy and feel comfortable being around you. They need to know that you aren't going to suddenly ditch her, tear her to pieces with your words, or pressure her into doing something that she doesn't want to do.
     I would say girls typically have 7 stages of relationship:
1) stranger
2) acquaintance
3) friend
4) good friend
5) best friend
6) more than friends (this stage is usually pretty short)
7) a couple (boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancées, spouses, all that jazz)

     For some girls it's more for some girls it might be less (on the rare occasion) but for the most part I think that girls can pretty much agree that these are the basic stages of relationship that we go through (or hope to go through).
   Notice that I have three stages for friend? If you have reached that zone you are at least going in the right direction. For girls like me it might be a little bit before I feel comfortable starting a conversation with you so you might stay in the acquaintance stage for a while (introverts tend to be that way).
    When girls say that "we're just friends" context is everything. If we are saying it to complete strangers or just casually to people it could be any one of the 3 stages of friendship. When we are talking to our closest friends and say that usually you can gauge where you stand by how you are introduced. Are you introduced? You probably are either a friend or an acquaintance if she is not quick to introduce you. Are you the first person she tries to introduce to people? Then you are probably either really cool or a good friend (possibly even a best friend or heading that way). Do all her best friends know about you and seem pretty comfortable around you? What about her family? If you can answer yes to both of these you are either in the good friend stage or the best friend stage.
    Now I have grossly generalized the female and how she will respond in the different stages of relationship and so you are going to have to use your own judgement when it comes to different females. Which means you have to get to know us. The fact is we are all very different and need to be in relationship in order for you to even attempt to understand our system.
    Becoming friends should be the first priority. Unfortunately because we give in to "popular opinion" (call it what you want, media, peer pressure, the stupid mind games that you play with yourself) many people have bought the lie. "Just friends" is not a bad thing. It's a step in the right direction.