Advice on Lists

     This is some advice I would give to girls (or guys) who are looking for Mr. Right (Mrs. Right). When I was younger and inexperienced I did not take this piece of advice seriously and ended up paying for it in the long run.

MAKE A LIST!

     Make a list of qualifications of what Mr./Mrs. Right must meet in order to pass the "should I marry you" test and stick with it! No reneging on your points just because you meet someone who you think is really really cool and you really really want to make this work. Because if they fail on one point chances are they are going to fail on others too. If you are unsure of your list you could show it to a friend (preferably married) who you trust will be honest with you or to your parent(s). Parents have a way of being able to be more honest with us than most so they are probably your best option.
     (The downside to telling your parents is they may pressure you to put things on your list that you may not necessarily want on it. Just be aware of what you want and then consider what your parents have to say but realize that they are human too and even though they want what's best for you at some point you need to make your own decisions.)
     I was watching a YouTube video recently that dealt with this issue and was reminded of the fact that "hey I have a list I think I need to add to it" (it's not a very long list so far but it's much better than when I had none or just that he had to be a Christian and be good with kids).
     Each individual is going to be different and so when making your list I would advise you not to paint an exact picture of who you want to marry (e.g. He has blue eyes, brown hair, is clean shaven, drives a red mustang, and has a black lab as a pet) let's be realistic here. List personality traits and beliefs, don't focus so much on their physical attributes and stuff, those fade with time but your spouses' personality and beliefs are something that you are going to have to live with.
     A wise friend once told me that you will meet a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Sometimes it's hard to figure out if a certain person is a frog or a prince. Having a list will help you to more easily determine that (also it helps you understand where you stand on certain issues so you can be more confident in asking questions).
     Having a list will help to keep you from going through a lot of pain and heartache. Sometimes those of us who are hardheaded about this kind of stuff will go through that anyway. (I did and I'm still functioning.)
      Here is how I would describe the feelings you go through when you are seriously in the wrong relationship and emotionally attached:
       Your on a rope about to go 50 feet into the air. There's a rush and a thrill when your going up and it's pretty fun while your on top of the world but then there is a complication and before you know it you are speeding towards the ground and there is nothing you can do to stop. When you hit the ground you get the wind knocked out of you and you are starting to see spots at the edge of your vision and feel like if you don't get air you're going to die. Your chest feels like you have a ton of bricks pressing against you and it's like you have forgotten what it was like to breathe in, all you can do is let your breath out. At some point you wonder if it's worth fighting for air because it's so painful. It's then that you need people around you telling you to keep fighting. Yes, it hurts and it still will hurt after you get up and walk away but your friends want you to survive. They don't want you to be overcome because you chose not to fight. So you finally breathe. It may have felt like an eternity in the moment but you breathe. After standing up and stumbling about for a little bit you return to normal. Yes, it is a painful experience but you survive.
     The drop makes the first part not so much fun as it was in the moment. I can't save people from themselves but I can warn them of what's coming if they aren't careful. Make a list and stick with it. You won't be sorry that you did.

     Here is the super silly YouTube video I saw that inspired me to add to my list, plus I think Kevin has some great points. Enjoy!